Golden Boy
by BarborkaZ
Summary: May reflects on her relationship with Coulson. Philinda!


This is my very first story on Agents of SHIELD, so please be kind :)

It's just a silly, silly idea I had few days ago when I couldn't fall asleep and it just kept bugging me until I wrote it.

It's a little bit AU (well, maybe more than a little bit, you tell me :))

I hope you'll like it. :)

Enjoy!

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GOLDEN BOY

May slowly opened her eyes, looking around the room she slept in. Her heart twitched a bit before she realized where she was. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and let herself relax in the cozy bed. She looked down at her belly where his arm rested as he slept peacefully right next to her. He held her in tight embrace, her back pressed right against his strong chest and she felt his slow hot breath on her neck. She smiled tiredly, putting her hand over his and closed her eyes once again. She knew it was about time to get up and head downstairs to do her daily Tai Chi before anyone else would wake up, but nothing in the world could get her to leave the warm, comfortable presence of her lover just yet. She had a right to stay warm and safe once in a while, didn't she?

She had her eyes closed but didn't try to fall back asleep; she knew very well she couldn't anyway. Their entire base will up in no time and she really didn't feel like explaining why exactly she drifted off in Coulson's bed with the man in question calmly sleeping beside her. She tried to think about their intended mission for the day but found herself unable to focus so instead, she let her mind wander for a short time before she will leave Phil's calming embrace to face another day.

It was almost two weeks ago when she came into his room under the cover of night to look for comfort. She spent years thinking that she'll never again step into the mess that her and Phil has always been but thinking and doing are two very different things. Not for her but sometimes, even she was allowed to be a little foolish. It was that damned cover mission that got her to seek his companionship once again.

" _Come on, we used to have fun like this in our youth. You know you enjoyed it," he smirked._

" _Yes. And then life happened," she answered then._

She spent days deep in thought, not only recalling their happier times when they were yet at the academy, young and crazy, doing whatever they liked but also his request for her. She knew he meant well but in what world could he think she'd put a bullet through his head? No matter what would happen, no matter how important it'd be May knew she could never kill Phil Coulson. Why on earth did he think otherwise? He was the closest thing she ever had to a best friend, he knew her even better than Andrew and still, he asked it of her. She agreed only to put his mind at ease but deep down she knew that she'll never keep her promise. She was torn to pieces once before and she was certain that if she'd be forced to put a bullet in his head, it would definitely be the end of her. She was angry with him because of that but every kind of resentment towards Phil turned into nostalgia in no time.

It always brought a smile on her lips, when she thought about them as they once were. Careless, foolish idiots that thought they knew the entire world. They were friends since the day they've met and even though May had a hard time admitting it out loud, she was grateful for having Phil in her life. The physical part that first occurred several years after they've met was… well, that was a bonus. They've fought together by day and slept together by night and it seemed as a perfect deal since neither she nor Phil ever considered it a real romance. They were happy and that was enough for them both.

When she met Andrew, everything changed. That was the day when life started to happen. If Phil was angry when she ended their physical relationship, he didn't show it. Their friendship never wavered and he went out of his way to become friends with the man she has chosen. She appreciated it more than she could say. She wished Phil would find the exact same thing that she had with Andrew but no woman stayed longer than couple of months. It wasn't until almost a decade later that he finally found a woman he fell head over heels for. Audrey. She was happy for him even though Andrew was long gone from her life. Whatever she and Phil shared before was history to them both, or that's what she thought at that time.

The memory of them linger on though and it resurfaced when she least expected it. On a simple cover mission that went terribly wrong in the end. When he took her in his arms as they danced and nonchalantly reminded her of the times they've spent together she realized that even though she refused to see it, she missed his closeness more than she could say. They were good together once, and the thought of them stuck in her mind for days.

When she came into his room for the first time, he was almost asleep but as soon as the door opened, he jumped up grabbing his gun from his nightstand. He visibly relaxed when he saw her, opening his mouth to ask why she came but May only put her finger over her mouth to silence him. "Don't talk," she whispered as she crossed the room to his bed. He only watched her as she sat on his lap, kissing him instantly. He froze for a moment before he put his hands on her hips and returned her kiss with the same fierceness. May smiled into the kiss and closed her eyes. He had missed her too.

Their meetings turned into a routine very quickly. She always snuck into his room when everybody else was asleep and spent the night with him. Then, she'd wake up soon enough not to be seen leaving Phil's room. She'd get dressed while he watched her with satisfied smile on his lips, completely silent. There was no need for words; they both knew what the other was thinking. With her last piece of clothing back in its place, she'd bend over to give him a quick kiss before retreating back to her own room and continuing her day as if nothing has happened. She had trouble containing her own satisfied smile throughout the day, though. She wasn't sure if it was the fact that they were so close or if Phil was just a natural talent but with the simplest touch or kiss, he was able to make her go completely crazy. But despite all the desire they felt towards each other, she couldn't help but to see Andrew's face instead of Phil's sometimes when she closed her eyes and she was certain that Phil saw Audrey instead of her as well.

She opened her eyes returning back to reality when she felt Phil's arm to pull her body even closer to him and his lips tracing kisses on her exposed neck.

"Someone woke up early," she almost purred.

Phil chuckled quietly. "Someone woke up too late," he said, still nuzzling her neck. "You're always leaving by now."

May looked at the alarm clock on his nightstand. "Shit," she growled putting his arm away. Phil mumbled disapprovingly but let her get up from the bed. She smiled at him fondly. "You know Skye must be in the gym already and Fitz or Simmons will be up in no time. I have to go."

Phil turned his eyes, stretching on the bed. "It's no one's business what we do in our free time," he murmured.

May laughed. "Have you met the people we're working with?" she asked him jokingly.

"Touché," Phil agreed. "You're always right after all."

She smiled again, bending over to give him one last kiss. "Don't butter me up," she whispered when she broke off.

Phil chuckled and stroked her cheek. "I'll see you in a while," he said. She nodded and left the room quietly.

As she walked the short distance to her room, she couldn't help the smile on her lips. Phil Coulson was truly one of a kind. Everyone who ever met him knew it. That's why he was Fury's golden boy, his prized agent. That's why the Avengers were so angry when Loki put the scepter through his heart. That's why she cared for him so deeply. They could be a couple, May saw no problem in it, but they were more than that. They faced death together almost every day for decades and they've managed to survive. Simple, easy life was never meant for either of them, be it together or with someone else. They needed the excitement of fight, they needed the adrenalin of facing imminent death and they've enjoyed every minute of it. She loved Andrew with all her heart but even though he was one of the best psychologists in the world, he could never understand this need. Only Phil could because he was always right there beside her. Andrew represented family, stability, safety, and all the things she once thought she wanted but Phil… Phil represented danger, death, and excitement. Phil represented SHIELD and that was what she truly craved for.

They could never have what she had with Andrew, or Phil with Audrey. It will forever be denied to them but that didn't mean that whatever they had between them was any less important. SHIELD made them both happy and they made each other even happier and that sounded like a pretty good life.

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Author's Note: Please, review. I wanna know what you think :). Anyway, thanks for reading and I really hope you've enjoyed it at least a little bit. :)


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